With Cosmo Fishhawk as Orson Wells

HOLLYWOOD – In “Battleship”, this summer’s big action film based on a game, actor Liam Neeson and pop star Rihanna try to save the world from the latest batch of unpleasant aliens to threaten Earth. Rihanna? Saving us from aliens? Listen, Rihanna might be good at a lot of different stuff but when it comes to saving me from aliens, no thanks sweetie, I’ll do it myself.

Thus continues the trend of casting people in big movies who are currently enjoying a high profile to help with the box office.

Certainly one of the most anticipated examples of this genre is Justin Bieber’s turn as Willie Lohman in the newest remake of Arthur Miller’s 1949 Pulitzer Prize winning play, “Death of a Salesman.” The cast includes show business legend Betty White as Willy’s long suffering wife Linda and Bieber’s personal mentor Usher as son Biff. The playbill has been engineered to appeal to every demographic that has been identified as part of the movie going public… with the possible exception of the XXX crowd.

While Ms. White insisted that she was willing to do whatever it would take to cover all the bases, director Wayne Bing declined the offer stating that, “it would require too much script reengineering and theatrical purists would probably object.” He added, “although I’m sure the author, who for a period was married to Marilyn Monroe, would have been pleased”.

Hollywood insiders are looking forward to “Avatar” type opening weekend numbers, while the music industry is extremely excited about the Usher/Bieber soundtrack album. “Rolling Stone’s” Randall Bowlton expects the title cut, a duet with Bieber and Usher, “You’re a Dead Salesman Now” to shoot to number one on the charts. “This is Burt Bacharach’s finest soundtrack since “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” Bowlton gushed.

Young Bieber’s next project, a biopic on blind Chinese activist Chen Guancheng with Bieber as Chen, is in pre-production.

By the way, it’s bio-pic not bi-opic.