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You’ve been watching TV all your life and right from the beginning there’ve been ads that you hated so much you’ve wanted whomever created them to go straight to hell and burn there for eternity. Bad news is they didn’t go to hell, they got a raise and are now working for the Democrats and the Republicans.

With the two presumptive candidates now in place the 2012 campaign season is in full swing. What? You say it seems that campaign season has been in full swing for many long months? Ha, joke’s on you. Buckle your seat belt and grab the remote, don’t press that MUTE button too hard. You can wear it out.

Tired of pictures of the President of the United States looking like a chump? Tired of images of a respected former governor looking like a supercilious preppy? Move to the Balkans and watch TV there.

Remember record players? Sometimes, the record would get scratched and it would “skip,”when you tried to play it, repeating the same note over and over again? Remember how that drove you crazy? So that’s why that continuous loop in the ads sounds familiar. Who do these people think they’re charming by reminding us of one of the most annoying things we can think of?

Conventional wisdom has it that the vast majority of Americans already know how they’re going to vote and nothing’s going to change their minds. It’s the “swing” voters that are in play and these are the folks that political ads are targeting. So, why do the rest of us have to suffer? Could the rest of us vote now and somehow be spared the long, long campaign between now and November.

No! You’re an American. You’re a proud American. You were born to suffer like this every four years. No, there are mid-term elections… every two years. Actually there are a lot of local elections, call it EVERY year. Seven days a week. Fifty-two weeks a year.

Let's move to Antarctica.