Fish out of Water

The question of what super Olympian Michael Phelps will do following a stellar career in the pool has been answered. A spokesman for Sean (Puff Daddy, Diddy, P Diddy) Combs has confirmed that Phelps will be embarking on a post-swimming career in rap.

BAD BOY RECORDS has announced that the Olympic hero has been signed to a multi-record deal and will be marrying both Mary J. Blige and Jennifer Lopez within the year, but not necessarily in that order. “I’m so excited, I’m having my Olympic medals fashioned into hubcaps for my fleet of Cadillac Escalades,” the greatest Olympian of all time gushed.

Prior to signing what is said to be a seven figure record deal, Mr. Phelps admitted to a preference for vintage Judy Garland and Doris Day tunes. “I loved those gals, but it’s time to move on. Diddy is spending a lot of time working on my blackatude,” the gilled one enthused. He then broke into an a cappella rap rendition of “Over the Rainbow” followed by the Doris Day classic, “Secret Love.”

At this point Bob Costas’ eyes fluttered open and he sat bolt upright in bed. Sweating profusely he shook his head, “Gawd, that was the worse nightmare I’ve ever had, I may never sleep again!”

Responding to pounding on the door of his suite, Costas was faced with former swimming great Rowdy Gaines, “I heard screaming, what’s wrong Bob? Gaines was clearly concerned.

Costas, while obviously shaken, managed a smile, “Lets have a Dr. Pepper, I’m going to tell you about this dream I had.”