Get Thee Behind Me Diogenes

As the endlessly long presidential campaign lurches towards the finish line, this week produced several moments of unexpected candor. The magazine “Mother Jones” released a transcript of some off-the-cuff remarks by candidate Mitt Romney in which he states that 47% of Americans are freeloading losers, thus suggesting that 140 million of us spend our time sitting around waiting for the government to brush our teeth and change our diapers.

On the other side of the aisle insiders are leaking an Obama plan to name Romney as ambassador to Libya.

Candidate Romney, in a continuation of the “charm offensive” he began in London during the Olympics, stated that all worthless, lazy, Democrats can think about is food, shelter and healthcare. One Romney aide quipped, “Mitt will never change these bums' minds, he’s writing them off and sticking with the ‘which home will I spend Christmas in and should I get the jet repainted?’ crowd.”

President Obama countered that he didn’t particularly care what color people painted their private jets but felt strongly that it’s nice if folks can be home for Christmas and that it was sad that they can only be in one of their six or so homes at a time. The Romney camp shot back that the President’s statement was exactly the sort of thing an un-American, commie rat bastard might say.

Obama retorted that to say that 47% of Americans don’t pay taxes “would be like saying that multi millionaire Romney has been paying the same percentage in income taxes as an individual making less than $33,000 per year. Oh wait, he is…. my bad.”
Romney fumed, “Anyone who keeps his money in banks in the continental United States is probably a terrorist!”

Thus the enlightened debate on the issues continues.