PARTY ANIMALS

As Americans watch the IRS scandal grow with varying degrees of delight, one fact is emerging. The only thing worse than being audited by the IRS would be attending one of their parties. Videos of everything from dance classes to takeoffs of popular TV shows have made it clear that the IRS must have their own private spaceship that takes recruiters to the planet "Nerd" to scoop up the cream of the nerd and dink crop to bring them back to planet Earth to make peoples' lives miserable.

No one in history has ever accused anyone at the IRS of having a sense of humor and the Congressional hearings on IRS improprieties are doing nothing to dispel that notion. The phrase, "These people are idiots," is being heard a lot in Washington these days. Considering the fact that there's no shortage of idiots in Washington, it's important to remember that the IRS idiots are particularly dangerous idiots. At least you can trust the idiots in Congress to do as little as possible which makes them "idiots by omission…" something that's not quite as bad as having idiots suck all the money out of your bank account and then throw you in jail.

The nerd-fests that the IRS folks apparently consider to be really far out, good times would, for the rest of us, register on the fun meter somewhere south of attending a spelling bee at a grade school in Uzbekistan.

At least we now know who's keeping all those "Gilligan's Island" reruns on the air. One has to wonder if they bicker over who gets to play "Scotty" in the "Star Trek" spoofs.

A list of people that the IRS pays big (taxpayer) money to speak at their events would either redefine the whole concept of "strange," or on the other hand, put to sleep a roomful of addicts whacked on meth.

The national takeaway from all of this should be, whether the IRS is targeting your particular political group or not, if invited to one of their parties, save yourself... DON'T GO!