Tennis Players Seek Relocation

Professional tennis players from the small countries of the world, those ones you can’t even pronounce, all agree on one thing: the location of professional tennis tournaments needs to change.

Tournaments are currently held in a select group of European countries and the United States, and players from Tiwihita, Hebekistan, and Nuhara are joining together to form the Players for the Relocation of Tennis Tournaments (PRTT).

“I’m tired of hanging out in the same cities every year - Paris, New York, London - it’s time we go for more exotic locations,” said Nuharan tennis pro Ludwig Leddleton.

So where does the PRTT want to move the tournaments to? Well, they aren’t just looking for a simple change of country.

“I say we try underwater tennis. Just throw on some scuba gear, and you’ve got a much more exciting game than the old, regular tennis,” remarked Yaroslav Wzelbecha, a player from Hezbekistan.

“I love the underwater idea - it’s definitely time to spice it up a bit,” responded Tiwihitan Togo Gafika, currently the 456th ranked tennis player in the world.

PRTT members also call for a change of location to make tournaments fairer by literally taking the crowd out of it. Representing the countries that nobody can find on a map, they believe that their big-country rivals have an advantage playing in their home countries.

“Getting booed at every event is really getting old,” commented Leddleton. “I think we should play on the moon. Zero gravity, space suits - it doesn’t get much better than that.”