By Perfesser Cosmo Fishhawk,
Published: Thursday, Sep. 2nd, 2010

These days, the chicken does not want anything to do with the egg.

With roughly 700 million eggs on a recall list, a spokesbird for the Association of Cooped Chickens (ACC) declined to answer the age-old question about the chicken or the egg. You know, which came first?

“I suggest you talk to the egg,” said E. Cluxley Barnyard, understanding that verbal communication with a hen egg through the 21-day incubation period would be difficult.

“We don’t view this as a chicken problem. This is an egg problem, my friend, and those little bags of albumen are going to have to own up to it. We did our job.” read more »

Not to be overshadowed by the big-haired housewives and chatty divorcees of New York, New Jersey, Orange County, CA., and Washington D.C., the women of Treetops are coming to you on a still-to-be-named cable network.

Look for “Real Housewives of Treetops” later this year, or maybe next year or the year after, on a station pretty far up the remote dial.

Take our own Clover “Pooki” Plover.

One of our town’s more glamorous denizens, “Pooki” is half-owner of the Christmas Shoppe out on Route 17 near the eBay drop-off outlet and the old Hardee’s. read more »

The Brits, who like nothing more than running around the countryside with big rubber boots and trowels, have turned up an 11,000 year old settlement in southeastern England.

The site is said to be 6000 years older than Stonehenge, the eerie stone monument and destination favored by aging hippies and fans of the Grateful Dead.

It’s so old that the dwellings were apparently built when England was still connected to France, which is a scary thought.

“Basically, this makes Stonehenge looks like a Home Depot out at the mall,” said blogger Trevor Whiskbroom. read more »

Brown-pelican activist Plaquemines Pete and his clan heard all about the splashdown of the President of the United States and his family in the Gulf of Mexico last week.

The Obama family dropped in on Panama City, Fla., for lunch and a photo op. The normally irate Pete was fine with the visit: “We’re all for humans as long as they don’t want to punch holes in the floor.”

“We’d have headed over that way for all the excitement,” Pete told the Tattler in an exclusive interview, “but we had our own reunion near the pier in Orange Beach, Alabama. Good fishing, if you know what I mean.” read more »