Still a Few Bugs in the System

The assistant manager of an auto body shop in northwestern Pennsylvania is unhappy, saying that his new iPhone 4 is leaking oil.

Seamus McCupertino understands that many people are skeptical about his complaint. But he says that the new mobile device doesn’t work right and has been leaking oil since he bought it in late June.

“Not a lot of oil,” he told the Tattler.

Complaints about poor reception and antenna issues have sent busy signals through CoolKids Techland since nearly two million of the sleek, spiffy new iPhones were sold the first weekend they were on the market.

“OK, they were as popular as a vampire movie at first,” said McCupertino. “Then it turns out the reception is not so good, which sounds like something they’d have said about your Zenith TV in 1959.

“Then they had to have a press conference so that the genius who runs the company could blame the customers. Mr. Wizard says the people who are complaining are holding the thing the wrong way. Thanks, phone boy.”

McCupertino says he has had a rough year with products and product recalls.

“I’ve been driving a Toyota for years,” he said. “My kid really likes SpaghettiOs. We’re afraid to give pet food to the dog. My wife had a fancy new baby stroller that cost almost as much as a lawn mower, and that got recalled.

“Frankly, the idea of iPhone 5 scares me a little.”