The Chicken or The Egg?

These days, the chicken does not want anything to do with the egg.

With roughly 700 million eggs on a recall list, a spokesbird for the Association of Cooped Chickens (ACC) declined to answer the age-old question about the chicken or the egg. You know, which came first?

“I suggest you talk to the egg,” said E. Cluxley Barnyard, understanding that verbal communication with a hen egg through the 21-day incubation period would be difficult.

“We don’t view this as a chicken problem. This is an egg problem, my friend, and those little bags of albumen are going to have to own up to it. We did our job.”

Unconfirmed rumors circulating in Washington suggested that the chickens were attempting to hire the same K Street lobbyists employed by BP and Toyota.

“Let’s just say we’re not going to put up with a lot of chicken poop on this one,” Barnyard said.

“ Life’s not easy in those chicken coops, what with the crowds and the noise and the artificial lighting. Taking the rap for salmonella is not on our dance card.”

Meanwhile, problems between the chicken and the egg have taken the philosophical community by surprise.

“Metaphysically, we’ve always had them closer than vodka and tonic,” said Dr. Karl Kabong, Professor of Circular Reasoning at Happy Valley University.

“We’ve been using the chicken-and-egg thing since forever to talk about, you know, what does it all mean? Now this. Plus, I just had breakfast and I’m not feeling too good.”