After New Hampshire

Since the New Hampshire Primary, the two most attractive Republicans in the presidential race have been flushed away. The square jawed cowpoke who is dead, but doesn’t have the common sense to lie down and close his eyes, and the hot co-ed who looks like she took way too much acid in her freshman year. While some may miss looking at them, few will miss listening to them. This is a burden their spouses alone will bear from now on.



So now the GOP’s inventory of choices has come down to: 



Rick Santorum – The quintessential dweeb who surely has developed a thick skin from being picked on every single day of his academic life through the sixteenth grade. 



Ron Paul – Accurately described as a “lawn gnome” by some, and the kind of a creature that might live under the base of a lawn gnome, by others.



Newt Gingrich – Speaking of lawn gnomes, actually Gingrich is more the troll under the bridge. And don’t forget Mrs. Troll-under-the-bridge, terrifying children in fairy tales for centuries.


John Huntsman – Promoted from invisible man to third place finisher, possibly a rational human being who fell in with a bad crowd.



And Mitt – His real first name is Willard but most Republicans think it’s Mitten. That says it all. However, he’s become extremely popular with other folks who enjoy firing people.



The question is, what will happen when the Republicans run out of first time frontrunners? Will they recycle?



Or then there’s Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. They’re both just there, kind of like that thing that lurked in your bedroom closet when you were a little kid. They’ve both questioned whether President Obama was born in the United States while some question whether either of them was spawned on planet Earth. Both have the kind of egos that would allow them to see themselves as off-white knights bursting upon the scene to save the Republican Party, and the country, from the elderly, the sick, the poor, the disadvantaged and other types of freeloaders out to pick the pockets of the righteous, folks with their own private jets, six homes and a dozen or so cars.



Someone has to do it.