From Kardashia with Love

Speculation is raging across Hollywood like a prairie fire as to who Khloe Kardashian’s real father is. The tabloid press, unable to accept that it may actually be the man who was married to her mother at the time of Khloe’s birth, is scrambling to find who the next lucky prospect will be.

The Kardashian women, whose romantic entanglements strongly resemble that maze in “The Shining,” are currently in seclusion trying to figure out how best to market the situation.

In an impromptu man-on-the-street interview, 67.3% of those questioned thought that anatomically correct “Kardashian Girls” Barbie Dolls might be a good way for the family to capitalize on the media frenzy.

Several former beaus of mother Kris Kardashian are vehemently denying the possibility that they could have sired Khloe, citing the fact that by the time they were playing around with Kris, the child had already come in to the world. Hollywood insiders remain skeptical.

In a startling twist, MAD MAGAZINE mascot/coverboy, Alfred E. Newman, implied in an interview with Katie Couric, that he might have had something to do with it. His grin, his “What me worry?” attitude, and a strong resemblance to the youngest Kardashian daughter have reporters scouring back alleys and emptying garbage bins seeking DNA from the comedy icon.

A Kardashian family spokesman, Wayne Bing, volunteered that, “cashing in on a situation like this is easy... the trick is to get the optimum bang for your buck, no pun intended, heh heh.”

As of today, young Khloe has retained one of Los Angeles’ most prestigious private investigating firms to determine who, exactly, her mother might be. “There could be a few million in it,” declared the newly minted orphan.