Moonstruck

The lamestream media, in its latest episode of spewing left wing propaganda, continues to mock Newt Gingrich for his visionary plan to build a base on the moon. Undeterred, the Speaker defended his concept and dismissed naysayers as morons, “Lets see those little “occupy” twerps occupy this!” Gingrich was overheard snarling to an aide.

When asked if the moon had a Lowes, a Home Depot or some other building materials supplier, a Gingrich spokesman replied that, “ in an effort to seem as environmentally sensitive as possible, the entire base will be built from indigenous materials, principally green cheese.” He went on to quip, “that way we can claim that we’re taking the “green” movement all the way to the moon. Although on earth it’s a pain in the butt and raises havoc with free enterprise and profit margins.”

High-end jeweler, Tiffany & Company, in support of one of its favorite customers, is issuing a commemorative charm depicting the former speaker mooning the American people.

Insiders claim that the concept for a moon colony originated with wife Calista, who is said to have been to the moon many times on her way to and from her home planet.

Rising to the challenge, in the spirit of one-upmanship, Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has vowed to buy the moon, “with a little walkin' around money.” He went on, “I think we can leverage this pup, drive it into bankruptcy, destroy some jobs, and make several millions of dollars for myself and my partners in just a matter of months.” He chuckled, “So I guess you know what Newt can do with his green cheese.”

The Gingrich camp shot back that Newt’s pals at Fanny Mae and Freddie Mack hold the paper on the moon and that it isn’t for sale to Mitt Romney at any price.

However, sources at both mortgage giants suggested that, “there’s never any harm in kicking numbers around.”