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By Perfesser Cosmo Fishhawk,

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The Treetops Tattler [RSS]
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Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (R) has been turning up on the talk news circuit.

 Readers may remember Sanford as the Governor who went missing in 2009. His absence from the Governor’s Mansion and the Statehouse came as a surprise to everyone from his staff and his wife to state lawmakers. At the time aides suggested that he might be hiking the Appalachian Trail. As it turned out he was hiking someone named Maria Belen Chapur in Argentina.

 This quality time with Ms. Chapur had a negative effect on the Sanford’s marriage, and since he flew to South America on the state’s dime, it didn’t do a world of good for his political career either. Sanford was censured by the South Carolina General Assembly for the misuse of state travel funds and retired from office. Jenny Sullivan, his wife of 21 years and mother of his four children, gave him the boot.

 Now, four years later, Sanford is back.

  The usual way for high profile, philandering husbands to weasel their way back into the public eye and pocket a few bucks at the same time, is to write a mea culpa book and go on tour. That can lead to television appearances and all that airtime can lead to a show of one’s own. Another way is to find God and start your own ministry/church. People tend to love a reformed sinner who now wants to clean up everyone else’s act.

 In what Randy Bing of the Georgetown University School of Sleazball Studies has called “an impressive display of lateral thinking,” former Governor Sanford is getting back into politics and running for office.

 Sanford is freely admitting he made gazpacho soup out of his private life. “That South American broad I was hitting when I was married is now my soul mate.” He now insists that he always was and still could be a bang up public servant and will be running for congress in 2013.

 The title of Sanford’s first book is “The Trust Committed To Me” and it and can be picked up on Amazon for $3.75.

It's 3,025,121 on the Amazon bestseller list.

Rating: 2.8/5 (93 votes cast)

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