Canine Intrigue at White House

We all remember the story. As a reward to his daughters Sasha and Malia, President Obama, on election night promised them a dog. That dog turned out to be Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog who, according to the White House website, was a gift from Senator and Mrs. Kennedy.

However, The TreetopsTattler.com has uncovered surprising information about Bo. It seems that his origin may indeed be a deep cover story planted by a super-secret and possibly foreign government agency for, until now, unfathomable reasons.

An anonymous source has revealed this shocking fact. When Bo first entered the White House, he was covered with bugs. And we're not talking about the kind with wings and legs. We're talking ultra-sophisticated state-of-the-art listening devices.

Our source further disclosed that while scrambling to trace the origin of these bugs, White House Security uncovered an even more startling revelation. Bo started life as a Russian Wolfhound.

The Tattler has learned that, prior to his adoption, Bo underwent radical cosmetic surgery, neural enhancements and special operative training which included the latest in canine martial arts, intense, in-depth language studies, and extremely advanced mathematics.

It is believed that Bo can understand and speak 53 feline dialects including those spoken by Persian, Maine Coon, Brooklyn Wooley, Burmilla Longhair, Sphynxamese, and Tonkinese cats. Bo also speaks fluent "dog" which is, of course, universal throughout the world. Woof.

How Bo will use his math skills is yet unclear but speculation persists that his mission may include international-level canine/feline diplomatic negotiations.

Could Bo be the dog who does the impossible? Could he bring an end to the state of war that has existed between cats and dogs for more than 6000 years?

Or could Bo be planning to use his enormous mathematical intellect to create a quantum state where cats are neither alive or dead? Just in a box someplace where they can't bother anybody?

Only time will tell.